Thank You Volleyball

Tonight is the last time I lace up my court shoes and put on a Tulane Volleyball jersey. I may be putting on nikes, but I’ll be remembering the little girl who laced up her adidas to go to her very first middle school tryout. I’ll remember the little girl who begged for the new mizuno shoes when club season came around. For the last 10 years, my memories have revolved around volleyball. The game has given and taken away so many opportunities, it would be wrong to say that it hasn’t been one of the most influential parts of my life. It has given me more friends and mentors than I could possibly count, and it has taken me across the country and back dozens of times in a single year. I don’t think I could ever give back to the sport as much as it has given me, but I would like to try and simply thank it for all that it gave me.

Volleyball gave me life-long friendships (aka bridesmaids).  It’s inevitable that the ones you spend the most time with are those who you become closest with. But when those people are who you play a sport with, the bond becomes that much stronger. Who can help but bond to the only 10 people you know in a convention center filled with thousands of screaming teenagers, or when you’re crying on the bus ride back to your high school from your last playoff game singing your alma mater. Who could help but bond with the girls you wake up with at 5:15 every other day to go lift weights with after flying through 3 different time zones the weekend before. Volleyball has given me more memories than I could ask for with these crazy girls, and frankly more than I would like, and for that I can never repay the sport. I know they will continue to be in my life long after we all trade our jerseys in for our kid’s jerseys, and for that I am so grateful.

Volleyball taught me sacrifice. I could sit here and tell you all the opportunities volleyball has given me, but I would be lying if I say it didn’t take a lot of opportunities away as well. I’ve learned to redefine what “Spring Break” and “Thanksgiving” mean. They simply mean I get to travel and play volleyball without worrying about missing school. I’ve learned that not everyone can go to Junior annnnd Senior prom, and you may not get to go out on your 21^st birthday because of the 6 am workouts you have the next morning. With all the sacrifices I’ve made, they have been worth it, because nothing worth loving comes without sacrifices.

Volleyball gave me great Mentors. I’ve been blessed with so many great coaches along the way and they have taught me more about the sport and about myself than I would ever imagine. They have helped me through tough times on and off the court, and many have helped me figure out what to do after my time is up in college. They have been great role models not only on the court but how they live their lives off the court with their families and friends, and I’m so grateful to have been surrounded by that growing up when the athletics world can be so shallow and vain. God has truly shown me how to glorify him through sports by the mentors he has given me along my journey and I can’t thank Him enough for that.

Volleyball will still continue to give me opportunities long after I stop playing. Thank goodness God has given me the heart for coaching, because I don’t know if I could bare saying goodbye to the sport altogether. I have learned from coaching this past summer that it will be hard to transition from player to coach, but I know this sport isn’t done teaching me lessons. I will never forget the memories I’ve made with my teammates these past 10 years. I get emotional just thinking about the ups and downs along the way. Sports truly change your life. They are mysterious in how they do, but they change your life one day at a time. I can’t say that I will truly miss going from the weight room to the class room to the gym, but I can say I will miss the moments in between with my teammates.

Thank you volleyball, for everything you have given me. You have helped shape me into the woman I am today, and I can’t thank you enough for that. It was fun while it lasted. 

All Glory to God

I’ve played volleyball for 10 years now and I’ve gone through some tough years, and some easy years. Looking back, I wouldn’t believe a single soul if they said my team would go from a 6-21 record to 26-3 the very next year and still climbing. Only God can take a group of girls from around the world and put them on a team and create a story like that. Only God can bless a group of girls with the determination and strength and love for a game to keep their spirits up enough from losing the last 3 years and still have hope. Only God can bless a team with amazing Godly coaches and staff and athletic family to help support them throughout the years. What else are you to believe in after years of busting your butt yet losing? For me and so many other girls on the team, God was the only one I could believe in through the hard seasons. Having faith that He was using all those losses for good kept us going. Every season he would renew our strength and love for the game, reminding us why we played and who we play for.

This year more than any, I have felt his presence guiding us every step of the way. We have such a big group of girls who are crazy about God on our team that I can't help but smile every time I think about it. He has blessed us with such a great opportunity and platform to show how great his glory is. Without him, I’m certain that half our team would not have been able to overcome injuries even if it was through his gift of great determination. Every win, every point, every grueling practice and workout has been a gift straight from God. This season and the past seasons everyone of my teammates have been through has been building up to this year. 

That’s the thing about God’s plans. You never know what he’s working you up to, or why he’s putting that certain situation in your life. To be honest, I have no clue why he’s blessed us with such a great season because no one ever deserves the gifts God gives us. But I do know that God’s glory and blessings should never be taken for granted or ignored. This team is something special and I would never change a single thing about it. No one but God could write a story like this, and we would never be here without the Holy spirit guiding us and I’m just in awe when I think of how powerful and loving our Lord is. Our conference tournament is this weekend and I have full confidence that whatever the outcome is, it is God given and all the glory will go to him. 

Surrender Control

1 Chronicles 29:11, 12 & Isaiah 55:8,9

I can’t speak for everyone else, but when I say that everything I plan never works out, I mean everything I plan never ever, ever, works out. It may start out well, but those smooth beginnings always end up catching on a bump and causing me to fall and land on the only solid surface that will never fail which is God. It’s almost annoying.

Whether it’s something as simple as scheduling an entire Saturday for studying and Jesus time, only looking up from the TV at 11 pm to realized you’ve done absolutely nothing with your day; to planning your future with someone and seeing that relationship crumble before you. “Hey God? Yeah it’s me again, I forgot you’re in control and it’s left me broken.”

You have no control over the life planned for you. Say that to yourself a couple times. It’s scary. But it’s also freeing. Pursue God, and he will guide you to what he has called you to: a life of recklessly abandoned love for the people he has created.

When we start planning our lives and trying to change situations on our own, we are putting our abilities ahead of God. Gut checked yet? I know I’ve been. I unfaithfully put my abilities ahead of God’s all the time. I dangle my plans in front of God’s face saying, “I’ve got this, I know exactly what needs to be done.” You know what the scary thing is? Sometimes it works. Sometimes I get those good grades, I get that starting spot on my volleyball team. Sometimes I have those great weeks where I feel invincible being independent.

And then it all comes falling apart by the smallest incident.

And I’m once again reminded of how small and insignificant my abilities are without God. How humbling it is to know that I am nothing without our Lord. How humbling to be reminded that my plans and desires always fall short of holy and perfect. How freeing to know My Lord is in control, because I know he can do so much more than I could ever dream to.

1 Chronicles 29:11,12 (ESV): “Yours, O Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the victory and the majesty, for all that is in the heavens and in the earth is yours. Yours is the kingdom, O Lord, and you are exalted as head above all. Both riches and honor come from you, and you rule over all. In your hand are power and might, and in your hand it is to make great and to give strength to all.”

Isaiah 55:8,9 (ESV):

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways   and my thoughts than your thoughts.  

He holds it all. He controls it all. Anything we have, it’s from him. Believe it guys. Paul himself tells us in Philippians 3 to have no confidence in the flesh. When we have confidence in the flesh we are denying God of his power and strength. In 1 Peter 1:24 Peter describes the flesh as grass and the glory we get from it as flowers. Our flesh withers and our glory falls, but the truth of God remains forever.

Knowing that we have no control shouldn’t leave us helpless, it should keep us faithful. We are only helpless if we don’t have Christ. We stay faithful to him because we know our earthly abilities are weak and useless in this broken world where we are desperately in need of a savior. 

Be a Doer

James 1:22-26

We live in a world where we live by catchy quotes and flashy phrases. We take sentences out of context and whichever phrase fits our emotions at that time the best wins. We look for quick fixes which most of the time end up not really fixing any problem. Its no wonder that we have the same problem when it comes to God’s Word. As the church we’re notorious for taking scripture out of context in order to get a quick fix for something we’re struggling with. And the same struggle with the same sin keeps popping up and we question why. We read a devotional in the morning and say, “oh that’s a good point…” and go throughout the day the same way we would without reading it. Sometimes we realize this and we get frustrated because we think we’re spending time in the word and doing all the “right things” for a healthy spiritual life.

James 1:22 says, “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.”

Let that sink in. Do you live out the scripture you read? Do you believe it’s God’s truth? Do you believe it’s the only way to live if you’re God’s servant? These scriptures aren’t just tips on how to live a better and moral life, and I think that we sometimes blur those lines on accident.

In verses 23 and 24 James talks about hearing but not doing when he describes a man who looks at himself in the mirror and as he turns away completely forgets what he’s like. We cannot forget who we are in Christ. We cannot forget that our actions and our doings are because God has saved us from the worst death possible because he loves us with a gracious love we will never be worthy of.

We follow God’s law not for our benefit but out of a response of pure joy and faith of the gospel. (Phil 27) We live in the world but not of the world so others can see what we live for. Who we live for in hopes that they will want the same joy and salvation from this broken world. 

When you read God’s word, read it and let it sink in. Understand that the Lord of the universe is talking to you, giving you a choice to follow him and love him. And understand that he knows your heart. We are so focused on our external changes, but as cheesy as it sounds it starts with the inside. Let his word take you over so much that it can’t help but seep out. Don’t just read it and go on with your day. Read it and let it guide you through your day. Be a doer. Remember who you are in Christ. 

For Starters

This is new to me, but a great friend told me recently to start daily and God will lead the way. I've been hesitating to start a blog, because I'm afraid I guess of being transparent. Being vulnerable. Thinking thoughts and thinking thoughts and putting them on paper for anyone to see are two very different things. But God hasn't called us to merely think thoughts. He's called us to spread the good news. I know that may be way too overused on any christian blog site or web site, but it's the truth. That good news is the same for everyone, but it's shown so differently through every person's story. They good news means salvation and life. It means mercy and grace from the horrible sins we've committed in this broken world. The great thing is that we've all had a different life. He's saved us from each of our own personal hells, graves, sinful death. And if he hasn't saved you, I pray that you are intrigued by our amazing Lord and come to know how you can be satisfied in His love and grace.

It wasn't until last year when I finally began to understand just how much in need of God's grace that I began to truly appreciate my name. Growing up in church, I would tell people my name and they would always say "Oh that is so beautiful," that didn't mean anything to me. I knew it was said in the bible...alot...and I understood that it meant receiving something you don't deserve, but I also didn't understand how in need of grace I was, and that God wanted to give it to me, over and over and over again. That must be exhausting. I don't even want to give grace to the person sitting next to me in class who sleeps everyday and then asks to copy my notes the week of the final, yet God gives me grace for constantly going against him, sinning through every day of my life. He chooses to forgive me if I ask and repent. He chooses to love me.

Guys to be honest I don't know where this blog is going to go. I don't know what journey God wants to take me on through pouring out my daily thoughts to this ever intimidating world wide web. But I do know that it will point back to the Lord. I struggle daily to die to my own will and desires and identity in order to life for my Father. I wish so badly it wasn't hard, but that's why I'm so blessed to have a gracious Father. Not only does He love me and forgive me, he wants a relationship with me. He wants to talk to me daily and satisfy my every need. And I just want to share those moments of my relationship with Christ with you guys in hopes you see a little bit of your relationship with him through it.

Tonight I pray that God blesses this blog. I pray that He uses it for His glory in whatever way that he wants. I pray that I'm not afraid to be vulnerable and transparent. I pray for realness and I pray that this starts a community. I pray for grace, for love, for mercy.
Lord you are sovereign, have your way in me.